21 Things That Will Definitely Happen On The Great British Bake Off

Someone will get a soggy bottom.

1. Sue and Mel will insist on doing those awkward opening sketches.

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2. Paul Hollywood will be a bit of a dick.

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3. Mary Berry will get confused about something…

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4. …Only to learn something new about the world around her straight after.

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5. Sue will crack at least 25 terrible puns and innuendos per episode.

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6. And Mel will make at least one snarky comment.

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7. Someone will suffer from a leakage.

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8. Someone will most definitely get a soggy bottom.

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9. And someone’s meticulous structure will inevitably collapse.

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10. Someone’s creation will look terrible, but taste amazing.

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11. Someone will do something extremely stupid, like take someone else’s baked Alaska out of a freezer.

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12. Someone will cry.

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13. Someone will use the word ‘moist’ at least once.

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14. Things will get physical, even if only a little bit.

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15. And Paul will be a know-it-all like he always is.

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16. There will be an average of ten long shots of GBBO’s tent per episode.

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17. Someone will put on an accent.

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18. Someone will panic they still haven’t put their bake in the oven.

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19. Paul will respond to something by saying “Interesting..." which will roughly translate to “Are you fucking kidding me? Why would you do that?”

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20. Sue Perkins will do that weird high-pitched “Bake!” noise at the end of “Ready, set, bake!”

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21. Someone will make something animal-shaped. Because of course.

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