27 Hilariously Ridiculous Police Reports

Shots heard near a shooting range? Call the cops...

Humanity is a trash pile when you ~really~ think about it...

If we're not murdering each other, we're stealing from each other - sometimes because we need to eat, sometimes because we need a big enough bonus to buy that new Porsche.

Luckily, that's where the police come in! The last line of defence between us and the animals, dispensing justice and keeping every citizen safe (well, unless you're black).

20th Century Fox Television via Comedy Central

But, us being the pure, unadulterated garbage that we are, the police have to put up with a lot of stupid requests too. Here are 27 hilariously ridiculous police reports...

Related: 19 Newspaper & Magazine Layout Fails That'll Make You Think "Someone Definitely Got Fired For That"...