The news is, for the most part, utterly and abjectly horrible. In fact, you don't really need a gallery of carefully collated headlines to make you question humanity - you really just need one, single, solitary newspaper (remember those?).
But sometimes news stories are a real mixture of absolutely awful and hilariously oh-God-surely-this-isn't-actually-true-is-it? And it's those types of headlines that we have gathered for you here today. Because we're good like that. And also because we want to find people to man a spaceship to Mars with. Any takers? Please?