35 Hilariously Rude Cards To Buy Bae This Valentine's Day

'You make me harder than Valerian steel'.

Valentine's Day is for chumps ok, big chumps who think Me To You teddy bears, heavily-orchestrated romantic treasure hunts (with the entire family hovering nearby with an iPhone) and chocolate body paint are the height of sexy.

You can probably tell we're pissed off (and single, so single) and can't wait for the day to be over. But we can appreciate a great card - a brilliantly funny, toally rude one

If you *were* thinking about sending us one... if that *might* have crossed your mind... we wouldn't be totally pissed if one of these came through the door. Just putting it out there.

VALENTINE'S GIFTS SO NICE YOU'LL KEEP THEM YOURSELF: