“Everything that has a beginning has an end”
Erm, yeah. No shit.
“The only thing more terrifying than the last 12 minutes of this film are the first 92.”
A bold claim from a 98-minute film.
“Hombre means man... Paul Newman is Hombre!”
Woah, so Paul Newman plays a man in this? Intriguing!
“You know you want it”
Al things condiderered we'd prefer it if you just drive us home, thank you.
[subheader:list:5]THE THING WITH TWO HEADS[/subheader]
“They transplanted a white bigot’s head onto a soul brother’s body!”
Just imagine all the cheeky hi-jinks these rascals will get up to!
“Not to be confused with King Kong.”
Right, but... you can see the potential for confusion, yes?
“Move over aliens – here come the Creepozoids”
Oh noes! Not Creepozoids? Yikesy!
[subheader:list:8]THE DAY OF THE DOLPHIN[/subheader]
“Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the president of the United States.”
“OMG you know that dolphin I’ve been training to leap through a hoop? Well, it’s only gone and killed the effing president! I feel a right tit.”
“She gives you that weird feeling”
Like when you get up out of a hot bath too quickly? Or like when you fall asleep on your hand and it goes all gammy?
[subheader:list:10]I WAS A SHOPLIFTER[/subheader]
“Exposing today’s most alarming crime ring!”
Probably somewhat overstating where shoplifting sits on the sliding scale of heinous criminality.
“Capture nice young girls”
A marketing tagline that handily doubles as a rallying cry for psycho-nonces.
“Down in the pit there’s something alive. Half-human. Half-monster. Half-crazed.”
Let's have a quick chat about how fractions work.
“It happened to someone who knows someone you know... You’re next.”
Wait, so... It happened to who now? My cousin's mate's sister?
[subheader:list:14]THE ABOMINABLE SHOWMAN OF THE HIMALAYAS[/subheader]
“We dare you to see it alone!”
Cracking business decision.