Dick Lipsticks Are Here And Ironically, They Can't Stay Hard

Official product description: "complete with a veiny shaft and perfect mushroom head.”

Shove this in your pipe and smoke it, Zoella. How many beauty PRs are gonna beg you for a review of this product, to push on your legion of 11 year-old fanbabies? Zero. None. Zilch. JUST LIKE THE REGULAR USERS OF BEAUTY PRODUCTS, YOU'LL HAVE TO BUY THIS ONE YOURSELF. Why?

Because it's dick lipstick. Dick. Lip. Stick.

The "Princessa USA Mushroom Penis Lipsticks" are sold in packs of 12 on Amazon with the description, 'pecker lipstick' (come on guys. Dicksticks. Lipdicks. What were you thinking?) and come in a vast range of hues, from 'hooker reds', to 'creamy pinks' (yikes) via 'sparkly mauves' and 'opal rouge'. 


Uhhhhhhhh I love this

A photo posted by The Skinny Jewish (@prozac_morris) on

One more pic:


Good morning, Lovelies, here's your morning wood for the day!  So, I went to Galena, Illinois this weekend to checkout the sweet little shopping strip (If you haven't gone, I definitely recommend it! It's a #unique and #historicalplace with a variety of #funshops) and I came by this store called the #naughtykitty. Being the #catlover I am, I decided to check it out. To say the least, it was NOT a #catstore. So here's a little taste of what the store ACTUALLY was like! Joke of the day: The one stick that you can always get up.  #dickstick #morningwoody #joke #mushroom #surprise #misinterpretation #mushroomlipstick #bacheloretteparty #sexytime #cosmobyjessandtay #cosmetic #cosmetology #makeup #makeuplover #makeupaddiction #ilovemakeup #beautyaccount #lipstick #galena #galenaillinois #penislipstick #dicklipstick #sexshop #jokeoftheday

A photo posted by Jess and Tay Cosmetology (@cosmobyjessandtay) on

But how's this for ironic: they can't stay hard. Apparently they're melting before they arrive:

You can continue with your day now. Off you go. Stop dicking around.

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