Here Are All The Funniest Jokes From Last Night's Oscars

It's not all super-serious celebrities. Just mostly.

Hi guys. Hello. Did you know that last night, Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar? Let's just say that again for effect: LEO WON AN OSCAR. By the way: Leonardo totally won an Oscar.

Good, now we've got all the Leo stuff out the way for a few minutes (don't worry, there'll definitely be more soon), it's time to celebrate some of the best jokes the 88th Academy Awards had to offer.

It all went a bit controversial when host Chris Rock brought some Asian children onto the stage and made a joke about them being good at maths, following it up with the line: "If anybody's upset about that joke, just tweet about it on your phone, which was also made by these kids." 

But don't worry, there were also plenty of non-outrage-inducing jokes too. Such as... 

Whoopi Goldberg 

“Maybe one day they’ll make a movie about a skinny white lady who invented a mop! Of course a black girl would have to invent a cure to cancer before they even give her a TV movie.”

Tina Fey and Steve Carell


The duo exchanged this witty dialogue whilst presenting the best production design award:

SC: “Production designers take us to beautiful new worlds. The interior of a spaceship..."

TF: "The thing where a bear lives...”

SC: "An artist’s studio in 1920s Copenhagen..."

TF: “Tom Hanks’ … house?”

SC: “Tina has been drinking.” 

The Bear from The Revenant

You say it best, when you say nothing at all. 

Chris Rock

"Welcome to the Oscars, otherwise known as the 'White People's Choice Awards'" 

"Of all the girl-on-girl movies I've seen this year, Carol was the third best"

"Jada's gonna boycott the Oscars? Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties. I wasn't invited."

“You’re not allowed to ask women what they’re wearing any more. Everything’s not sexism; everything’s not racism. They ask the men more because they’re all wearing the exact same thing. If George Clooney came in a lime-green tux with a swan coming out of his ass they’d say, ‘What are you wearing George?’”

Ali G

"How come there’s no Oscar for them very hard-working little yellow people with tiny dicks? You know, the Minions."

Leonardo DiCaprio


"Climate change is real. It is happening right now."

Oh, wait, no. That's not funny. Sort out the planet guys. Smdh.