Lee Nelson Answers THE BIG QUESTIONS

Self-styled 'cheerful chav' Lee Nelson gets philosophical...
Rex

What happens when you die? What is right or wrong? Should you put the milk in first? These are life’s BIG QUESTIONS. But does anybody actually have the answers?

We got a little bit philosophical with Lee Nelson to find out…

What happens when you die? 

A statue will be erected.

What is the meaning of life? 

Eat. Sleep (with someone). Repeat.

Is the Matrix real? 

No idea. I took the blue pill. Had a great night.

Do aliens exist? 

Yes, I was probed last Saturday.

If you were a biscuit, what kind of biscuit would you be? 

Jacobs, cos I’m a cracker.

What one piece of advice would you give to your five-year-old self? 

Don’t inhale til you’re 8.

Is it worse to fail at something or never attempt it in the first place? 

Depends. Your driving lesson, fail and try again. Landing a plane, don’t attempt.

What goes in first - the tea, or the milk? 

The whiskey.

Lee will be performing in The Glee Comedy Tent at V Festival (19th-20th August) across both Chelmsford and Staffordshire sites, where tickets are still available. He’s also performing his hit show 'Serious Joker' at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe this August before heading out on a UK tour extension.

Watch! Stand Up Central Series 2: The Best Bits

86 Hilarious Jokes That Prove One Liners Are The Best