London's About To Get Its First Blow Job Café

A little cream for your coffee?

London is a fucking joke right now. If it isn't hipster twats selling cereal for £5 a pop, it's an early morning rave where you can get high on endorphins (fun) and get in to work at a reasonable hour. 

But the capital might be going doooooownhill faster than we thought. Why? Three words for you. Blow job café.

Blow.

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Job.

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Café.

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Perfect for the caffeine-loving cummuter, the blow job café (the second location for Swiss entrepreneur, Bradley Charvet) will offer patrons an amazing cup of coffee, with a side of up to 15 minutes of free felatio, for only £50. For those outside of London, that's not too bad a deal for a cup of joe.

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Though there's no grand opening date as yet, the café is currently slated to open in Paddington, and Charvet reckons it'll prove so popular he'll launch a franchise across the UK, though as yet he has no plans for a cunnilingus equivalent (a businessman with no nose for gender equality, who could have forseen). 

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There's also no word on what the café will be called... Personally, we're gunning for Central Jerk.

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