When your parents looked you in your bright, four-year-old eyes and told you anything was possible if you simply believed, they were lying.
You'll never be able to afford a house, your boss told us she hates you, and your current lover is, on second glance, simply a well-proportioned garden gnome.
But one thing you can do, if you not only believe but also have a smartphone and a reckless disregard for society's unspoken rules, is order a pizza to a moving train.
This is what one rather famous DJ did. This is his story.
It all started when Artwork realised his five-hour train from Glasgow to Sheffield had no food service on board.
What idiot would get onboard a five hour train journey without checking if it has a bar car and without getting any food or drink before ...— Celebrity DJ Artwork (@artworkmagnetic) April 23, 2016
His first plan was reasonable, but relied on the kindness of strangers, which lol, no.
Would anyone in the train line between glasgow and Sheffield go to the shop for me and get me a few bits and meet me on a platform?— Celebrity DJ Artwork (@artworkmagnetic) April 23, 2016
So he took the plunge.
I'm going to try and get a pizza delivered to a train as it pulls in to a station. Bit of research needed— Celebrity DJ Artwork (@artworkmagnetic) April 23, 2016
Naturally, carefully planning every aspect.
I think I'm going to try for Durham .... Not enough time for Newcastle pic.twitter.com/r6BQswOBfb— Celebrity DJ Artwork (@artworkmagnetic) April 23, 2016
Except the freaking toppings. THE DAMN PINEAPPLE-BREATHED FOOL.
Re toppings .... I panicked to be fair, I havnt had dominos since I was a kid and reverted to what I used to have. A fucking Hawaiian— Celebrity DJ Artwork (@artworkmagnetic) April 23, 2016
The tension was absolutely horrendously real. (Can you imagine missing the pizza? Doesn't bear thinking about.)
This isn't the first time the world has experienced such incredible scenes, however, as two years ago the comedian Chris Ramsey also did the same thing - BUT WITH MORE PIZZA.
Together these two stories could make a brilliant book. We'll call it: the Bible.