New Game Of Thrones Porn Parody Promises Fans A ‘Happy Ending’

Winter is actually coming...

As if Westeros wasn’t already rampant with rudeness of the randy variety, there’ll be even more swords swinging and Lord's kisses in the Seven Kingdoms courtesy of the subtly named upcoming porn parody, Storm of Kings XXX. 

Of course, this isn’t the first time the series has inspired an X-rated knock-off. 2013 brought us Game of Bones, while 2014’s This Ain’t No Game of Thrones XXX was a capital effort, beaten only by the brilliantly-named Gay of Thrones in the same year. 

And then there are the countless amateur efforts that’ll have you screaming “My eyes! MY EYES!” as you watch clumsily-outfitted porn star wannabes enjoy a wholesome day of innuendo-filled plastic swordplay before messily humping on a completely out of context, period-irrelevant couch. 

European adult-film studio Brazzers, however, are promising to fulfil your Game of Thrones porn fantasies good and proper. Even the ones you never knew you had.

Brazzers

 

And it gets better. Much like the TV show that inspired it, Storm of Kings XXX will be AT LEAST 10% storyline. 

Ready for some spoilers?

In the first episode, leading man John Doe (LOL) decapitates a member of the King’s Guard. Then a Joffrey-type is mean to a Sansa-esque character before making good use of “the hand of the King” (not kidding) and copping off with some maidens. Then he kills her entire family. Because of course. 

Yep, this is quality porn parody, people. There’ll be battles. And a dragon. And terrible acting. And, obviously, lots and lots of shagging. 

Here’s a sneak peek, for all the filthy pervs out there. 

 

Related: 25 Unremarkable Game Of Thrones Facts