Every year we all promise ourselves that we'll stick to the same old new year's resolutions: That we'll embrace dry January, start jogging and actually wear those unbelievably expensive shoes we've had at the back of our wardrobe since forever.
Predictable plot twist: It's totally unrealistic.
By the third of the month we're sat on the sofa, downing G&Ts and wearing pyjamas we've owned since uni. Again.
So how about we set ourselves some more achievable, tangible goals?
1. Have one alcohol-free evening a week
2. Get back to our friends' Facebook messages
Unless they're being annoying.
3. Eat a piece of fruit once a week
Does jam count?
4. Go for a drink with a new acquaintance
Then never again, because social anxiety.
5. Ask for a pay rise and fail miserably
You might end up remaining on minimum wage, but don't you feel like an independent woman?
6. Have a weekly panic attack
Reduce those daily stress-induced panic attacks to just one every seven days.
7. Get five hours of sleep a night
An upgrade from three, right?
8. Read a book
If you can't get through one Harry Potter, a magazine will do.
9. Clean your sheets
Do it at least once in 2018. Twice if you're feeling crazy.
10. Have sex at least once
We believe in you.
11. Save up some money
If you've got £20 in the bank by Christmas next year, you've smashed it.
12. Learn one word of a new language
Congratulations guys. This is adulting.
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