Donald Trump's supporters aren't taking victory lying down. No, they're sticking it to the man, and the other man, and - actually more often - the woman, because they see men in power as generally pretty okay.
That's right, Trump fans have taken to political activism like moths to a flame, in that they're inevitably going to set themselves on fire and then bring the whole place down around them when they subsequently smack into a wall. If a brand or organisation crosses them, they know exactly what to do to make their voices heard: a good old-fashioned consumer boycott.
When Kellogg's, maker of cereals-that-are-just-fine-but-very-sugary, withdrew advertising from Breitbart, an alt-right news haven, the outlet itself called for its readers to #DumpKelloggs: "To blacklist Breitbart News in order to placate left-wing totalitarians is a disgraceful act of cowardice. They insult our incredibly diverse staff and spit in the face of our 45,000,000 highly engaged, highly perceptive, highly loyal readers."
Those cereal face-spitters will get what's coming to them. Never underestimate the power of 45,000,000 people, many of whom probably even exist.
And it's not just Kellogg's - Starbucks has had its own backlash. According to The Washington Post, it all started with this random little happenstance: "Sanguesa said he paid for a drink but claims the barista would not serve it to him. His colleague suggested that was because Sanguesa had a Trump sign on his vehicle. Sanguesa said he viewed it as 'anti-white discrimination' — then got upset and lashed out. The barista was later asked whether she denied service to Sanguesa. 'No, I didn’t.'"
And so, unleashing the power of the free market against their perceived enemies, these Make America Great Againers are depriving themselves of their usual delights to make sure their point is loud and clear.
At least, they would be if they understood what a boycott was. But it seems many have interpreted 'boycott' in much the same way as 'economic growth' or 'racism' - the word is essentially irrelevant to the act. Which is great news for large corporations, because the flailing attempts of alt-righters to boycott their products actually seems to mean that they're buying more of them.
Kellogg's stopped advertising on Breitbart so Trump people are gonna buy a bunch of cereal just to make videos of pouring it in the trash pic.twitter.com/JEVeAbeVcP— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) November 30, 2016
Boycott my bank account. https://t.co/W7olC6XTXe— Hannah Gold (@togglecoat) November 19, 2016
This is no joke, they're really doing this.
Now, while the Starbucks boycott is strangely intimidating to those in stores, and surely at least some signing up to the Kellogg's boycott will stick to it properly until they realise they can't actually eat any food that doesn't pass through a big ol' Kellogg's grain store, there are still a lot of Trump fans out there actively propping up the business of causes they hate.
So with that in mind, we've come up with a few suggestions for other things they should boycott.
Bah. Renewable energy. What are you, a hippie? Makes everyone sick. Why not boycott renewables by investing in sustainable enterprises and purchasing solar panels for your home? Then there won't be any left for the tree-huggers. That'll show 'em.
Any Top Rated Charity on the Charity Watch Website
Planned Parenthood? Animal welfare? International development? That is some progressive bullshit. Donate to all of them and type Donald Trump's name in the submission form, just so they know who's really boss.
This science mumbo jumbo has gone too far. But if the socialist left wants to flee the planet, why shouldn't you get rid of them? Lobby for higher levels of federal NASA funding and you might finally see the last of these cultural Marxists as they shoot off into their shitty dream world.
The Democratic Party
Imagine donating money to these losers, or better yet, ironically voting for them? They'll never see it coming, and it'll totally throw their demographic research out of whack. They'll win, but they won't really be sure why. Hilarious.
So there you have it, a few quick boycotting tips.
Go ahead: make your weirdly loud voices heard even more.
By Scott Limbrick - @ScottLimbrick
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