12 Signs A Walrus Is Your Spirit Animal

The most majestic Patronus ever.

Ever since we read about Patronuses in Harry Potter books, dæmons in the His Dark Materials trilogy or realised that quokkas exist, we've all known that there's a spirit animal out there for every one of us: a lion for the brave, a fox for the cunning, an owl for the wise.

But while every single person has a spirit animal (yes, even Donald Trump), not everyone's prowls fiercely through forests, or rules the skies. A few of us have a mystic bond with an animal that does the most important job on earth: being a walrus.

Here are the tell-tale signs you are a walrus' spirit animal, and it is yours. 

 

1. You like to engage in competitive vocal displays

Especially if they make you feel like Whitney Houston.

 

2. You think that Valentine's Day is super romantic 

February is walruses' peak mating season, yo.

 

3. You like getting it on in the shower

Walruses get jiggy with it underwater, and so do you.

 

4. You can sleep uninterrupted for 19 hours

Emphasis on *uninterrupted*.

 

5. You eat food like a hoover. Literally

Walruses suck out meat by sealing their powerful lips to it and creating a vaccum. Just like you, you naughty thing.  

 

6. You get aggressive when people mess with you

BRING IT. 

 

7. You love spaghetti alla vongole

And other clam-based dishes. You love clams? Walruses love clams. Everyone loves clams! Except some people who don't like clams, and whose spirit animals aren't walruses.

 

8. You're prone to loudly bellowing and snorting at others

It's just how you make friends.

 

9. You prefer minimum human interference 

Personal space. Have you heard of it? 

 

10. You have a large friendship group

Tens of thousands of friends, to be precise.

 

11. You love maple syrup

If you're a Canadian walrus, anyway.

 

12. You have a six-inch layer of blubber

They told you to lay off the mac 'n cheese, but look at you now.

You're glorious.

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