Listen. We don't have context. We don't have a happy ending. All we have is this terrifying note that was uploaded to Imgur ten hours ago and a sense of forboding about the life expectancy of Charlie's hamster.
The anonymous note details the distress of an unnamed child whose Barbie (God rest her soul) was unfortunately stuck up her brother's butthole.
Honestly, it's hapened to the best of us.
Thirsty for revenge, the child (oh God, we hope it's a child. We assumed it was a child. Imagine if it wasn't a child?) has given Charlie's hamster 24 hours to live (free of poop).
We will endeavour to keep you updated on this story as it happens.