You're great at pretty much everything. We know this. We believe in you.
We'd put money on the fact that you've NEVER got so drunk, you've gone home and threatened your partner, then covered yourself in a slippery substance to hinder your capture by the police. See? You owe us ten bucks.
Steven Beeton, from the UK? Not so much. He did exactly what we just said - and let's say it again - slathered himself in *coconut oil* to stop police being able to grab him.
He later admitted stealing money and assault by beating at Swindon Magistrates’ Court, and the case has been adjourned for reports.
Mark Glendenning, defending, added: ‘He has very little recollection of what happened when he returned to the flat in the early hours of the morning.
Phew. What a coconutter.
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