The end is nigh. The invention of toe contouring was a pretty good signifier, as was the A4 waist challenge. But now the Jerk Shirt is here, so get in the bunker, kids, and don't forget the Kit Kats - by our calculations, the world will implode any minute.
Some bright spark saw a gap in the market for public masturbation products, because haven't we all, and by golly, have they filled it. The Jerk Shirt comes complete with a prosthetic, bendy arm attached inside the sleeve, so your real arm is free to pay to pay your penis a discreet visit no matter where you might be. Behold, the world's most disturbing gif:
It comes in a range of skin tones, so everyone can get in on the action. There *is* a video showing off the product, but really you don't need to see it. Seriously. Don't wa-oh, you're already watching it, aren't you.
At work, on public transport, out in the open - this shirt can do it all. We wish it didn't, but it does.*
*it even has a splashguard. Think about that for a minute.