The Evolution Of Sexting: How People Showed Their Thirst Throughout The Ages

We didn't always have the hot dog emoji...

Now some new emojis have been released, our sexting game has changed. In fact, over the course of history, our sexting game has changed drastically. Here's the (almost) complete evolution of sexting:

Erotic Cave Paintings

Firstly, apologies if any of you are finding this image too erotic, it's pretty hot. Back in the day before any technology, people had to draw on the walls to let others know that they had the horn. And what's more of a turn on than entering a dark cave to discover a painting of two people getting down and dirty? We certainly can't think of anything else.

Sexy Paintings

These are definitely the fanciest, and most time consuming, form of sexts. Yeah, it might take months to finish one of these sexy masterpieces, but send one to the person you fancy, and they'll definitely know that you're up for it.

Flirtation Cards

These are essentially the old version of the winky face emoji. Seemingly innocent, but everyone knows they mean far more than is on the surface. Most of them ask if they can have permission to "walk you home". Yeah right. We all know what that really means... nice try, Victorians.

Passing Round Notes

Doing a quick doodle of something sexy allows you to have a lot of artistic freedom, so it will always be popular. You can make the drawings as dirty or as innocent as you like, and the doodles are very time efficient. Why would anyone spend weeks doing a beautiful painting when they can just doodle a vagina and get the same result? If someone passes you a note with a load of genitals on it, it only means one thing...

Graffiti On Toilet Doors

Although this is a modern-day version of erotic cave paintings, this is probably the least classy of all the forms of sexting. However, it can be just as effective as others; if you write a cheeky 'Pete <3s Sally' on the door of a cubicle in a unisex toilet, then romance is sure to blossom between you both.

Polaroid Cameras

There are pros and cons of using polaroids for sexts. While the colouring is very flattering, it is very hard to take a picture of yourself from a good angle. Also, the film is really expensive. We're glad this is an archaic form of sexting; we can't afford to be dipping into our overdrafts every time we want to get it on.

Writing On Calculators

The classic. As long as calculators are around, so will people writing 'boobies' on them. It's like... calculators just type numbers... but sometimes they can look like letters... and you can make those letters into sexy words! Endless hilarity!

Using Keyboard Symbols To Recreate Genitals

Comedy Central

The pre-emoji emoji. We were making the most out of what we had. On the Nokia 3310, if you wanted to let someone know you were feeling sexy, just chuck over a few carefully arranged keyboard symbols and they were all yours!*


Cameras On Phone

This is where everything changed. This is where everything got real. Too real. Before this, everything was just a mere suggestion, but when phones got cameras, BAM, there you were, minding your own business, receiving a picture of a REAL COCK. And to be honest, no one really find these images sexy. The silly playfulness is lost and we are just faced with the harsh reality (and bad uses of camera angles/lighting). 

Aubergine Emoji

Now, this is more like it. Yes, everyone knows what this means, but it harks back to the most innocent days of suggestive sexting. It's also perfectly safe for work; if your boss catches you sending a potential lover the aubergine, then you can just pretend you're giving them the ingredients for a ratatouille. They will never know...

Hot Dog And Taco Emoji

Woah woah woah, what's this? A replacement for the aubergine? Will they stand the test of time to take over from our beloved vegetable? Only time will tell. We imagine that vegetarians will prefer the classic aubergine, but it does look like the pairing of the hot dog and taco are soon to be cemented in the sexting hall of fame (if one existed).

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