Listen, there's no other way to say this. We have to just come right out with it. There's a crisp flavour on the market called "Wanky Veg".
You know, wanky veg. The sort of veg you can't help but tug at in the shops. The sort of veg that's just inherently sexual. Like beetroot. And sweet potato. Wanky stuff.
And okay, technically, the crisps - made by Tyrrells, posh eh - might be called "Swanky Veg" - but if we can't see the 'S', who's to say it exists? Can any of you really prove it?
BRB, off to buy ten packets.