There's only one thing in life more stressful than sorting Christmas dinner dates, and that's choosing beer pong team mates... wait, we mean wedding dates.
But, as we learned a few weeks ago in Stratford, the two are pretty much the same thing. Yes, we got invited along for some good old fashioned British entertainment in the form of throwing ping pong balls into red solo cups of beer, ignoring the dirty floor dust they accumulated along the way, all in the name of celebrating the DVD release of one of the funniest movies of the year.
Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates, for those somehow not in the know, stars Zac Efron and Adam Devine as a couple of fun-time brothers, who need to find a couple of respectable dates to take to their sister's wedding after one too many family occasion fuck ups. Unfortunately for them / fortunately for LOL fans, they meet Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza, a couple of freeloading messes who aren't afraid to pop an eccie or finger a cousin or two in the name of fun. If you haven't seen it, add it to your Christmas list.
But, back to the matter at hand. Here are all the hints and tips you need to play Beer Pong, Mike And Dave-style.
STEP ONE: TABLE
The most important element of Beer Pong - apart from the beer, ping pong balls, or the players themselves, which are all equally as important - is hands down the table. Feel free to use a standard kitchen table, like the one I do your mum on, but for our money you can't do better than a pro ping pong table, like the ones they have at Bat And Ball! We went to the one in Westfield Stratford, FYI.
STEP TWO: BEER
What the fuck would Beer Pong be without beer? Pong, that's what. Does Pong sound fun? No. No it does not.
Thankfully the team behind Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates made sure we had all the beer (and pizza and chicken wings and prosecco and popcorn and hot dogs) we could ever want for a successful ponging.
STEP THREE: WHO CARES LET'S GET DRUNK
Set up nine red solo cups of beer on either side of the ping pong table, pick up a few ping pong balls, and throw them motherfuckers into the cups to get your opponent to drink it. Simples, right? Well of course it is, there's a reason no one's ever made a drinking version of Risk or Dominion. Go forth and have fun, like we did.
Oh, and make sure to grab a copy of Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates, available on Blu-ray™ and DVD from December 12th.
For further information on The Bat and Ball Westfield please visit www.thebatandball.com or email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Josh Pappenheim - @papsby