The Selfie Brush And 11 Other Inventions That Prove Humanity Is Doomed

There's no hope for any of us.

As soon as the Selfie Brush was announced, there was a grim foreboding that maybe everything isn’t going to be ok.  Here’s 11 other inventions that prove humanity is doomed.

1.Selfie Brush

This hair brush/iPhone cover gives you those extra few inches needed to take the perfect selfie.You can now goon at yourself from a slightly more elevated angle.

2. Electric Face Mask

The Electric Face Mask, handy if you want to look like a serial killer, confusing and terrifying if you don’t.

3. The Pet Petter

We all know that stroking your dog is a laborious and pain staking chore, thank GOD this man has stepped in with The Pet Petter.

4. Butter Sticker

Butter Stick Type

The Butter Sticker, a solution to a problem that never was.

5. Phone Fingers

Phone Fingers

The blight of fingerprint marks on an iPhone screen is the very definition of a first world problem. Has the added disadvantage of making your fingers look like you’re wearing condoms.

6. Hair in a Can

Grow old gracefully. Or alternatively spray hair onto your head with a can.

7. The Flatulence Deodorizer

Flatulence Deoderizer by Flat-D Innovations

Imagine the utter shame at the counter of Boots when you buy another Flatulence Deoderizer because your old one has worn out?

8. Apparatus for Simulating a High Five

Apparatus for High Five Simulator

This one actually makes me quite sad when I think about how lonely the inventor must’ve been. Someone give that guy a hug, assuming he hasn’t already created apparatus for that as well.

9. To Do Tattoo

Pros: Good for the environment.Cons: Everything else.

10. Tandem Toilet

Bored of going to the toilet on your own? No? Good, that means you’re not a pervert.

11. Lap Pillow

Getty

Probably invented by the same guy who made the high five machine.

12. Bacon Soap

Bacon Soap, Bacon Toothpaste, Bacon Lip Balm, Bacon Aftershave. Those are all genuine products. Think of that.