Now I have your attention, let's talk about jacking it.
For a lot of men out there, options for getting yourself off are pretty limited. Sure, you could get a... Fleshlight, but do you ~really~ want to be that guy? No. No you do not.
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So, in their frustration, a lot of men have developed ~unconventional~ desires to stick their dicks in places they REALLY don't belong. These intrepid explorers, nay, sexual conquistadors, are boldly going where no man has gone before. Like this guy who had to get his todger amputated for trying to fuck a plastic bottle.
So we took a look through a recent AskReddit thread to find some other weird things men have shoved themselves in to get that bang...