Things To Watch Out For At An Award Ceremony

Are you going to the Oscars? Be careful if so, there's all kinds of stuff that could completely ruin your experience...

[subheader]Streakers[/subheader]

During the 1974 Oscars a streaker hit the stage when the late David Niven was presenting. Rather than freak out, Niven came up with a knob gag: “Isn't it fascinating to think that probably the only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping off and showing his shortcomings?”

[subheader]Moonlighters[/subheader]

Cheesy opening musical numbers are an Oscar mainstay, but someone must have been drunk in 1987 when they arranged this one, a triple-whammy of non-singers – Telly “Kojak” Savalas, Pat “Mr Miyagi” Morita and Dom “Dom DeLuise” DeLuise – farting their way through a showtune.

[subheader]Show-offs[/subheader]

Manly man’s man Jack Palance celebrated winning a Best Supporting Actor gong in 1992 by doing one-handed push-ups on stage.

[subheader]Cross-dressers[/subheader]

South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker got nominated in 2000, and showed up tripping on acid wearing the dresses that Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez had worn the year before. Under those sunglasses? HUGE pupils.

[subheader]Potty-mouths[/subheader]

A lot of people thought Samuel L Jackson was a shoo-in in 1995 for his role in Pulp Fiction, including Jackson himself. When the winner, Martin Landau, was announced, Jackson responded how most of us would, with a loud shout of “Ah shit!”

[subheader]Brother-snoggers[/subheader]

If you were Angelina Jolie’s brother you’d have some pretty weird stuff going on in your head a lot of the time. Unusual memories of shared childhood baths that make you feel a bit funny when you think about them, things like that. But at the 2000 Oscars, shit got weird when Angelina and her brother did a full-on mouth-snog in front of billions of viewers – one that, strangely, no footage of is online. Brad, what have you done?

[subheader]Bigheads[/subheader]

Before Titanic came out, it was predicted to be a massive flop, so James Cameron was within his rights to feel pretty good about himself when it became the biggest film of (until then) all time. Shouting “I’m the king of the world!” when receiving the Best Picture Oscar, though? Pure dickishness.

[subheader]Proxies[/subheader]

Marlon Brando sent a proxy in his place to collect his award for The Godfather. Her name was Sacheen Littlefeather, and she spoke at length about the mistreatment of American Indians, particularly within the entertainment industry. The industry responded not by improving how they trested people but by banning anyone from sending a proxy to collect an award.

[subheader]Crybabies[/subheader]

Possibly the most cringingly awful acceptance speech of all time, Sally Field invented the humblebrag and caused bumholes across the world to clench in 1984, with her “You like me, you really like me!” acceptance speech, which even three decades later makes anyone’s bum twinge a bit.

[subheader]Stoners[/subheader]

In 2011 in a bid to be a bit more hip, the Academy chose James Franco and Anne Hathaway to host. Franco turned up so relaxed you could almost smell the weed through your telly, and sleepwalked through the whole thing. It was like a very handsome, very slow car crash.