Thirsty AF Tortoise Single-Handedly Saves His Species With Copious Amounts Of Banging

His name is Diego and he is DTF.

Do you think you know responsibility? Doing your taxes, paying your rent? Making sure your children don't die (if applicable)?

Well, let us tell you right now, you know NOTHING.

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Meet Diego, a tortoise more than 100 years old. He's seen some shit, man. Yeah, he's seen some shit.

Because Diego has fathered more than 800 children, almost single-handedly saving his species from extinction.

What have you done that could possibly compare? Nothing, that's what. If you vanished from the face of the Earth, humanity would continue without a care in the world.

But Diego, he's made a difference. He has shagged, banged and screwed his way to into the history books. Long will they sing songs of his story.


Yep, a tortoise specialist at Galapagos National Park said they found that he was the father of almost 40% of the baby tortoises released onto his island.

Truly Diego got his dick out for Harambe.

What an absolute champion.

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