A tree surgeon in Worcestershire has unveiled a giant 18 foot penis hedge at the bottom of his garden.
Chris Bishop spent 3 years crafting the all-natural knobend, originally in a bid to make his neighbours laugh.
"No-one's commented when I've been out in the garden, people have just looked at it and walked past," he said. "I think it's because they're trying to work out whether it's just their dirty minds."
An anonymous neighbour, though, told the paper they found it "very offensive."
But who cares about that guy. If you can't appreciate a massive leafy dong, then what can you appreciate? What are you even doing on this Earth?