Someone's got it in for Kellogg's, and they're using Tony the tiger as a puppet in their cruel games. A disgruntled former customer who grew up and got diabetes? An animal rights activist unhappy with the appropriation of endangered species? Who knows, but they've made a website that looks remarkably like the work of Kellogg's in what appears to be a huge trolling effort.
The site welcomes visitors with a message from Tony himself, explaining that his hand is now turned to helping out grown ups with big problems.
“I’ve helped so many kids to solve their every day problems over the years. I contacted ten people who were children 30 years ago in my Frosted Flakes commercials, and asked them what their problems are now in their 40’s. See how I helped them!”
But those problems appear to be prostitution, terrorism and police violence. A series of videos shows his former fans navigating problems in their dark, twisted lives, to be helped only by a bowl of 'vitamin-packed frosted flakes'.
One ageing prostitute named Candy is finding it difficult to attract clients (until Tony 'brings out the tiger in her') while another needs a bowl of the cereal to find the courage for police brutality.
Tony is replying to his fans on a sporadic basis, his social media accounts having been suspended:
"Dear David, I am sorry for not replying faster. I was shocked how fast my Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Gmail accounts were closed, and had to get this new system up and running. There´s not much freedom of speech for us tigers, is there? Now I am back again!"
Check out the videos below - but be warned, they could ruin your childhood: