Why Batman Wouldn’t Work in Britain

The Caped Crusader keeps the streets of Gotham City safe, but it just wouldn't be the same if he'd grown up in the UK. Here's why...

[subheader]Everyone would think he was just in fancy dress for a stag do.[/subheader]

[subheader]Or he just wanted to see his kids.[/subheader]

[subheader]Or that he was just a local Goth having a bit of a huff.[/subheader]

[subheader]You know what nobody in Gotham City ever seems to have? Cricket bats.[/subheader]

[subheader]Throwing a Batarang is basically littering, and we’re not fans of that type of behaviour around here, thank you very much.[/subheader]

[subheader]There’s no way The Penguin would have been able to build up a criminal empire. The days of anyone taking orders from some dick in a monocle are long gone.[/subheader]

[subheader]As basically a man with really knackered skin, Two-Face would barely stick out.[/subheader]

[subheader]There are quite a lot of people named Robin here. He’d shout “Robin!” and some other guy would turn round as well.[/subheader]

[subheader]Dick Grayson would have been made fun of so much in school that he’d be even angrier than Batman.[/subheader]

[subheader]Because Bruce and Wayne are basically Australian names, people would assume he was two Australian dudes and shit would get confusing.[/subheader]

[subheader]Dunno what it’s like in America, pal, but anyone that has a butler is asking for a kicking.[/subheader]

[subheader]Someone would key the Batmobile in a heartbeat.[/subheader]