HAPPY FRIDAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
Yes, the weekend is nearly here, so for everyone (other than shop clerks, bar staff, and parents) that means two days’ bed rest is so very nearly here. What better way to ring in the weekend than with three totally WTF-inducing stories, eh?
You Never Go “Full Waitrose”
Waitrose, AKA the supermarket equivalent of that guy at every party you’ve ever been to who tries to explain the philosophical ramifications of the works of Adam Sandler, is at it again.
Having previously described basil as ‘majestic’, labelling halloumi as ‘essential’, and selling ‘delicate & edible flowers’, we thought they’d reached peak Waitrose… until now.
Peak Waitrose: tasting notes for Special Brew pic.twitter.com/t1QDIZvDPa— Martin O'Leary (@mewo2) May 7, 2016
THAT’S RIGHT, THEY’VE PROVIDED AMAZINGLY PRETENTIOUS TASTING NOTES FOR SPECIAL BREW. What next? Pairing suggestions for Lambrini? Gourmet Turkey Twizzlers? Actually, they sound pretty sweet…
Stacey Dash Can Piss Off
Former Clueless star, now full-time idiot, Stacey Dash, has been shooting her mouth off about things that don’t concern her – this time it’s transgender toilet arrangements.
As Obama directs schools around the US to allow children to use the bathroom of the gender they identify with, Stacey labelled being transgender a lifestyle choice and argued that there should be pretty base consequences for making it – namely not being able to use bathrooms at all.
Speaking to Entertainment Tonight, the Fox pundit said: “OK, then go in the bushes. I don't know what to tell you, but I'm not gonna put my child's life at risk because you want to change a law. So that you can be comfortable with your beliefs -- which means I have to change my beliefs and my rights? No.”
Clueless then, clueless now.
She Don’t Lie, She Don’t Lie, She Don’t Lie…. Cocoa
Everyone knows that Berlin does things differently. From architecture to design and supporting a booming job market, the German capital city forges its own path at every turn. That’s why it comes as no surprise that clubbers are ditching the usual dance drugs in lieu of… wait for it… Cocoa powder.
According to Ozy, taking raw cocoa (offered in powdered, liquid, or pill-form) can have similar effects to Tony Montana’s drug of choice, and avoids the lengthy prison time if caught.
Maybe that’s why Freddo always looks so happy?
Happy Friday, y’all!